"HA!" Dan hopped into the air. "I can and will defeat you, for I have a bit of God in me!"

"Pfah! You're less than one fifth the man that Lina is!" Asuka retorted. She took a step forward and swung wildly at Dan. The smaller fighter did a mid-air roll out of the way.

"Your ineffectual strikes cannot touch the supreme dodging power of Dan!"

Asuka took a few more open-handed swipes at him, but they all were easily dodged. "Scheisse! I'll get you!" The Progressive Knife popped out of the Unit's shoulder. Asuka grabbed it and swung again, this time with more precision. Dan dodged, but only barely.

("It seems that Dan is using the same tactics he employed against Orochi," Daisuke said, "Unfortunately, there is no Lina here to save him."

"Asuka's even worse than the hussy," Lilith huffed, "Dan will still win. Anou... where is this match taking place?")

Asuka swiped again, which Dan dodged. "Ha! Even your large weapons have no power over Dan! It is because you don't feed your large robot enough; it looks anorexic! Unlike I, Dan, who has a healthy meal every morning! OOSHA!"

"HA! Got you now!" An open handed slap caught Dan blindsided and sent him flying, as he was totally focused on the knife, and not the empty hand of the EVA-02.

("You were saying?" Daisuke chided. "According to our information, the match is taking place in France, but it doesn't look like any part of France I know."

"Oh, Daisuke-kun, what do you know about France?" Lilith smiled. "Now, I know Hiro-kun and I know all about the France language."

"French?"

"No! Love. I might not have the Hardcore belt, but Hiro-kun and I have gotten hardcore. Wai!"

"...")

Dan flew away from the strike like a runaway missile. He shook his head to clear it, and started his next taunt. "That was a lucky strike! But not so lucky as Dan, for having his manly, hard body to fend it..." Then he hit the side of the building.

Asuka tried chasing after him, but quickly reached the end of her power-line. "Uso! I could have had him!"

Dan slowly got out of the wreckage. He looked around at his new surroundings. It was a castle that looked like, well, an idyllic, fairy-tale castle. He puzzled slightly at some sounds from behind a door. Cautiously, Dan crept up to it and peeked behind.

"Ooooohhhh, GOD! You are such a BEAST!" There was quite a bit of movement amongst the covers. "I just felt the earth move!"

"Dan will leave now," Dan swallowed, quietly closed the door, and leapt away. He bounded quickly back towards the EVA-02. As he approached, the red war machine grasped for him.

"Ung! Get closer, damn you!"

"Your hungry robot is weak! It cannot even approach the divine presence of Dan! OYAJI!"

Then Dan noticed that he was being pushed away. Hard. By a hexagonal field that glowed red.

"I'll use my AT Field then!"

Trees broke at Dan's impact. He hit the ground and skidded. Taunting Godhead Legend Stone Cold Dan Hibiki groaned. He was in pain. A LOT of pain.

"I've got him now!" Asuka cried. She reached back and disconnected her power cord. The 9:99:99 timer flashed 5:00:00 and started counting down. The ground shuddered with each foot impact.

("Isn't it great how she's risking everything on victory!" Lilith cheered.

"Didn't you want Dan to win?")

Dan saw the rushing EVA-02. A taunt died on his lips. The AT Field sprang up and rushed towards him...

And Dan saw the light.

The AT Field stopped, just inches from Dan's face.

"OOSHA!!!! I can do that, too!" And Dan exploded through the AT Field, surrounded in a pale blue light.

("Am... am I seeing hexagons around Dan?" Daisuke asked.)

"I have been given part of the power of God! And you shall face Stone Cold Dan Hibiki's ABSOLUTE TAUNTING FIELD! OYAJI!!!"

"No! I won't lose again!" Asuka swung at Dan. Her timer passed below the three minute mark. She caught him, but her grip could not crush through Dan's Absolute Taunting Field.

He raised his fist in a taunting gesture, and Absolute Taunting Field expanded exponentially. The Eva's arm split down the middle, then flew completely away, getting lost somewhere in the forest. The entire body of the Eva was lifted and thrown. It landed atop the power generator, reducing the machinery to scrap.

Asuka screamed in pain, clutching her real arm. The Eva tried to mimic the movement, but spasmed slightly.

Dan stared at his arm in amazement. A smile spread across his face. "Dan could even arm wrestle your thin robot and win! There is no stopping Stone Cold Dan Hibiki! I flatulate in your general direction! YAHOOIE!!!!" he flew after the Eva.

("He did what?" Daisuke stared.)

Dan landed beside the twitching Eva unit. Asuka noted with horror and glee that the timer had passed below one minute. At least the pain wouldn't last too much longer.

"HA! You cannot defeat the taunting gestures of Dan! Watch this! OOSHA!!!" Dan pumped his arm three times. The left knee of the Eva exploded, jetting the lower leg into the air.

Dan started to laugh. "God does look down upon Stone Cold Dan Hibiki! As you can see, he is still a win..."

The leg finished its arc through the air, speared down on top of Dan, and imbedded itself in the ground.

The timer ran to zero and the Eva stopped twitching. Asuka shuddered and took a few deep breaths, then punched the eject button. She grasped an emergency knife in her good arm, the other hanging limply at her side, as he stalked towards the leg sticking upside down out of the ground.

"I will not lose," she hissed. "Never again." A broken laugh escaped her lips.

Gokuu landed and surveyed the wreckage. He watched, betraying no emotion, as Asuka tried to pry away the leg to get at her opponent. Under his breath, he counted down from ten.

"... one. That's the match. Winner is Asuka Langley in EVA-02." He stepped past Asuka and grasped the leg, easily pulling it from the ground with one hand and tossing it to the side.

Asuka collapsed to her knees at this display, and watched mutely as Gokuu hefted the unconsious Dan up and disappeared in a portal. Behind her, she did not hear more portals open to allow the NERV staff in. She did not feel the hands upon her shoulders, lifting her up and leading her away. Did not see as they collected the wreckage.



"Wai! Wasn't that amazing?" Lilith bounced up and down.

"..." Daisuke watched as the emotionless face of Asuka blinked off of the ContraversialTron, to be replaced by shots of the crowd. "... Right."

Lilith got up from the table. "That was fun, Daisuke-kun, but my Hiro-kun is waiting for me." She skipped away, back up the ramp to the backstage.

"Right. We'll be back after these messages."



James glanced over to Jessie. "Do you think he'll be mad? He was actually happy with me last week; I don't want to screw up."

She waved off his concern. "Don't be silly! He wants us to show some initiative, after all...why, I bet he'll be proud of us! And we did leave a note...right?" James mused over this, trying to remember if he had indeed left the note. Jessie breezed past him though the doors in Abe's House of Discount Weapon Replicas. The name wasn't great. The owner wasn't smart. But you could get just about any weapon there that had ever been made.

Staring in appreciative awe at the huge arsenal before them, Team Rocket momentarily forget why they'd come. Sure, they didn't *need* it, but wouldn't a Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator be nice to have for backup? And ooh, there was a Bloody Card-

"Can I help you two?"

Drawn out of their daze by the shopkeeper's question, Jessie and James walked over to the counter. "We'll be needing these," Jessie replied, handing over the sheet Meowth had prepared.

Abe peered at it over his glasses. "...You two do know that these are joke weap-" Seeing their confident nods, he shrugged. "All right, wait here." Returning ten minutes later with a cart full of weapons, Abe dumped them unceremoniously onto the counter. "These have become collectibles, you know... you two gonna be able to afford them?"

Jessie nodded, and grinned like a slightly psychotic Walmart greeter in her attempt to look confident. With a shrug, Abe rang up the total, taking into account the stunned looks on their faces when they saw the register. "If you still want them...okay, okay, you want them. Cash, check, or plastic?"

With no small amount of trepidation, James handed over the credit card he'd recently come into possession of. Behind him, Jessie tried not to look nervous and failed miserably.

Abe, never the brightest of shopkeepers, peered at the card. "Then...that'll be all for you, Mr. Lysias?"

James flashed him a relieved grin, nodded, and returned the receipt with a perfectly forged signature. Shouldering one of the bags, he walked out of the store, Jessie at his side. They were pumped. They were charged. Vengeance would be theirs.

And as it so happened, vengeance *did* take American Express.



Hiroshi watched the TV in the infirmary. His mouth, and mind, were attempting to work around a concept. "Har... Ha... H.. Hard... Har-har-har..."

Rei walked in. She stared quietly at him, eyes unblinking. Hiroshi swallowed. "I was never hardcore with Lilith!" he cried.

Rei continued to stare at him. Hiroshi started to sweat...

Then she dropped a bowl in his lap. "we shall have fun eating ice cream," she said solemnly. "wai." She sat a tub of Tip Top Jelly Tip next to to Hiroshi and pried it open. Two scoops of nummy goodness went into each bowl.

Hiroshi picked up the bowl and dipped in the proffered spoon. He let the rich, creamy foodstuff melt slightly in his mouth, then slide down his throat. His eyes bugged open. "This is wonderful! Where did you get it?"

Rei looked right at him, taking small, pristine bites. "sore wa himitsu-desu."

He blinked. For a few minutes, the pair of them just sat and ate the ice cream. When Hiroshi finished his first bowl, she dished out another two scoops. Hiroshi smiled at Rei, slowing his eating to match hers.

"i did not have sexual intercourse with marlo semaj."



He would show them. Sure, they all laughed at him _now_ but after today, they would understand. He wasn't beaten. He wasn't washed up. He was still a winner, and more besides.

He would show them what he REALLY was.

With newfound determination, Orochi-VoiDuck stepped through the portal



Daisuke checked his watch. The next fight would be starting any minute now.

And they would send him a guest commentator...

...any minute now.

He hoped.

Daisuke made a show of checking over his notes. He knew them almost by heart, but felt the need for his hands to do something.

Why wasn't Hiroshi back? he wondered. He hadn't been hurt that badly... had he?

The ControversialTron blinked on over the battlefield.

It was a small island sitting amidst a clear blue sea. Peaceful, really; pleasant. The kind of view that made people think of family theme parks or barbequeues while the little ones watched an animated film on TV.

A portal opened and Gokuu stepped through

"Well, Daisuke," he murmered to himself, "You're without a partner and the fight is going to start. What are you going to do now?"



The portal opened in midair, and a menacing figure... well, mostly menacing... okay, so it was kind of cute. A kind of cute figure stepped out. He looked around confidently, sure in his purpose. That only lasted until he realized he was falling.

"VOIOIOIOIOIOI!" he cried, flapping his wings frantically. There was a splash. "[Duck]."

Okay, so he couldn't fly. Voiduck-Orochi ruffled his feathers. It was only a minor setback; surely his opponent would easily fall to his [HATRED], and then he would have his revenge on Xelloss...

Another portal opened on the beach only a hundred feet away, and his opponent appeared chest first. She pointed an accusatory finger at Voiduck. "You may have been able to best Lina, but I, Naga the White Serpent, am not so easy a foe. And now you are less than nothing before me." She paused for a moment, then delicately put the back of her hand to her mouth. "OOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"